I heard a quote once that I became very fond of (weird, right? I know. That never happens to me). It read: “The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don’t look in your neighbor’s bowl to see if you have as much as them.” The goal here is a realization that comparison is the thief of joy. A lesson that I have completely learned (on quite a few levels).
I think it’s important, though, to understand that comparison doesn’t always occur between two separate individuals or families. Comparison can occur between fact and fiction. Perception and reality. A LOT of my friends and family members are “starting the next chapter” of their lives in the foreseeable future, or have in the recent past. & I, well, I am not. Some days, I don’t even know how I’m managing to keep this chapter going (OOF). And it has frustrated me quite deeply.
No pity party intended, but it has brought me to tears on the phone with my Mama. And that isn’t cool. And it isn’t OK. It’s not OK to look at the life we have and be sad that it isn’t the life we had originally planned & plotted for ourselves. The truth is, people don’t live fairytales. No matter how enchanting or lavish Instagram or Facebook may make a lifestyle seem, we’re all human and we’re all just trying to survive. Wake up, everybody. & Wake up Myka!
It is obvious that we are not, unfortunately, able to write our own destiny before it is fulfilled (darn). In order to truly be happy, then, we have to understand the lives that we lead day-in and day-out in fact is our happily ever after. And just because they aren’t what we’ve dreamnt about doesn’t mean they aren’t real, or fun, or perfect. I think, ironically, that they’re better than any fairytale we could have ever been handed because we’re creating them ourselves. There is surprise, there is fear, there is hope and dread and reality.
A close and dear friend of mine once told me, “just because it was your dream doesn’t mean it would make you happy.” And I will never forget that wisdom. Ever. And I hope that you don’t either.
Take what makes you happy & toss the rest. Don’t be discouraged that you aren’t living life exactly the way you planned when you were a wide eyed little girl, but remember not to remain in a static misery because that is “just the way life is.” Consciously, find a happy medium. Create your world, and please, keep me in it!