Your best self.

Never

It’s so weird that I found this quote tonight because I literally had this exact thought both at the gym and the grocery store today. Sometimes, I get ready for you. I make sure every hair is in place, I paint my nails, I wear the cute but less comfy shoes. I squat deeper, I smile more, I smell nicer. I do all sorts of things with you on my mind, with this irrational notion that I might run into you. Sometimes, I even catch myself doing a double take. As if by some grace of God you’re here. You aren’t. And I know that. But here I am. Doing my best anyway.

My sister-in-law once told me, “be with somebody who makes you the best version of yourself.” And I loved that. I assumed I had found that person when I uprooted my stagnant life, and started working out & quit eating sweets. But now I look at myself and I notice I’m a much better person today than I was a few months ago with him. The most important piece of who I am is that I am a writer. I’m pretty sure I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve because it’s on my forehead. I say everything that comes into my mind; but I usually say it on paper. And “with” you, look at me, I’m a blogging machine. I go to bed early, I wake up on time, I eat ice cream, I laugh, I workout like a fiend, I drive around and listen to cliché music, I make my bed and do my chores. All with a genuine smile. Maybe instead of being with the person who makes you the best version of yourself, you’ll find that the right one – the knight in shining armor – falls for the best version of yourself you manage to create without him.

I hope so. I hope that somehow, somebody out there sees me for exactly what I am. This hopeless romantic. The emotional, confident, shy, outgoing mess that I am. That you’ve helped & encouraged me to become, without even knowing it. And I hope that somebody is you.

it’s only fair, wouldn’t you say?

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