After every horror I face, I come to this same realization. I give myself the same speech. I tell myself not to judge another human being ever again – don’t question what they are wearing, don’t question why they are crying, don’t question their weight or their hairdo or the cigarettes on their breath. Don’t question their distance or their addictions or the way they take their coffee.
And once again this morning, life taught me this lesson. Life took something from my family we didn’t deserve to lose. Life took a piece of my brother’s fairytale. As if my dads cancer & my moms arthritis weren’t enough, life set fire to my brother’s wedding venue. Thankfully all that perished was a lodging unit; but still we all felt the sting. The fear. The backlash of something we couldn’t change. We walked through life today as we always do; heads high, career focused, optimistic smiles painted across our faces. But inside we were all fighting. Wondering what the hell we did wrong; why we had to endure this hiccup.
And it made me realize a few things. It made me realize that you never truly know what tomorrow will bring. You never know what horrors you’ll have to face, whether it be day break, the middle of the night or high noon. Shit happens. Things are coming together & things are falling apart for someone at every second of the day.
We’re taught that we must create a path for ourselves. We must go to school, graduate, find our match, make a living, reproduce. But what we aren’t taught is what really matters. What nobody seems to warn you about is this: You can plan and plan and follow all of the rules and hope against all odds; and guess what? Life still might fuck you right in the ass anyway. Life still might burn down your house, death still might steal your brother or your best friend. Love still might rip your heart out.
Which all sounds horrifying and depressing and hopeless and wrong.
But it’s this abyss, this taboo reality, these possible troubles we casually ignore that lead me to the light. To being a better person. to having heart. It’s life’s trying times that remind me every single person I look at is fighting a battle I know nothing about. They’re getting over someone, they’re falling in love, they’re dying, they’re losing their mind, they’re getting fat, they’re losing weight. They’re human. We are all only human, at the end of the day, and as cliché as it is to say – sometimes that’s a struggle in itself. Sometimes just having the strength (in the face of all that could go wrong) to get out of bed each morning is its own victory.
To carry around your broken heart and shattered dreams, to remain hopeful & optimistic and truly believe in Fairytales, against all odds, when all evidence points to the contrary, isn’t for the weak or blind as some people might think. To remain fluid and soft and whimsical in your nature, in my opinion, is for the strong. For the determined. For the brave.
I read quotes all day long that talk about letting go & moving on & facing reality. But I think sometimes it takes more courage to suffer than it does to die, so to speak. The mark of true strength and character is to be found within those of us who never give up no matter how hard things become; no matter how bad the odds me seem, until we are ready.
Do not let this rugged world break you. Do not let life make you jaded, and numb, and hard. Because contrary to popular belief, none of the best people are.
Good luck out there.