Lately when I talk to one of my girlfriends – any one of them – I hear the same kind of stories. I hear how they’re pathetic or they’re exhausted or they’re clingy. Or how they were wrong. Or they’re lost. and I’m not sure why we feel this way about ourselves. I’m not sure why we always think we are making stupid decisions, why everything we ever do makes us feel like we’re crazy. We’re girls and there’s lots of things about being a girl that people misunderstand. That people wrong you for. and I’m here to shatter those stereotypes. I’m here to tell you what being a girl is really about. and why it’s okay for you to do the things you do that other people deem crazy, so long as you’re staying true to yourself.
The first thing I know about being a girl is that there’s always a boy. there’s always a boy who doesn’t want you that you’re certain is perfect, who you’re certain was made for you. And there’s things you do for him that you never thought possible. You lose sleep, you make treats, you write poems & take photos. You cry and cling and fantasize and dream. You do it quickly, and you do it even when your efforts go unnoticed. Even when all signs point to no. Even when you look desperate and silly and foolish. Even when he ignores all of your messages and rejects every damn call. Even when you’re scared. Until one day, you just don’t. Until you’re ready to let go of the dream. and this doesn’t make you crazy. This doesn’t make your weird, or different, or clueless, or odd. this makes you female. we all have these boys, I promise you.
And Being a girl isn’t always about chasing a boy; being a girl is also about chasing girls. Chasing a different kind of fantasy. The fantasy that we must outdo the other women around us. it’s about having the prettiest nails and the perfect hair and the tightest ass, and the perkiest boobs & the longest legs and the princess wardrobe that you wear to the perfect job. And when we don’t have these things, when we aren’t the perfect package, we cry. Being a girl means we stress especially about the things we can’t change. and that doesn’t make you weak. it doesn’t make you weird, It makes you normal; it’s expected. Remember, it’s okay to want to be perfect but it’s important to also recognize that you’re not.
Being a girl isn’t always terrible, though. Being a girl means eating ice cream and cookies and driving really far with no destination and the music blaring. it means losing your hearing & your voice when you’ve lost a boy or when you’ve found one. it means curling irons and coffee on the bathroom counter top. it means perfume and lipstick and white strips and dental floss, and filters and photos and boarding passes and luggage and fancy button-down shirts with pearls on the collar. Being a girl means bows, and tight jeans and high heels and boots. and horseback riding and Nike pros and squats every day.
Being a girl is all of these things; good, bad, indifferent, and ugly. Being a girl is becoming a mother. Having a daughter and teaching her to become exactly the person we’ve been for so long. it’s picking flowers and taking hikes and running through the sprinkler when you can’t afford a pool, It’s decorating a nursery and making chocolate chip pancakes when your best friends heart is broken. Being a girl is being happy even when you’re sad. Being in love and being alone. It’s one too many rum and cokes, it’s a vodka-cran, or a Bluemoon. a wish upon a shooting star. It’s realizing your mom is your best friend, and your Dad is your hero. It’s moving away to chase a boy, or chase your career. It’s having mermaid hair and wearing bikinis and being a bridesmaid 100 times before you’re a bride. It’s loving candies; in your home, and on your birthday cake.
I could go on forever about what it means to be a girl. (and I guess that’s part of being a girl, too. the never ending conversations & thought processes we have). And maybe there’s a girl out there somewhere reading this who disagrees with everything I just said. Who is strong and rational and levelheaded and Brave. & almost insulted that I describe our species this way. But to her, to all of you, I say the same thing: no matter the type of girl you are, remain unapologetically her.
There are plenty of people in this world who will try to make you feel bad about the person you are, don’t you ever help them out by doing it yourself.
Here’s to girls!