I think about dating a lot. Possibly more than most people. I don’t know if it is healthy. I think about where my future husband is probably once a day. I’ve gotten to the point where I even verbalize it. My friends and I joke about it. “I wonder what my hus..”
“We know Myka – you wonder what your husband is doing right now.”
And then we laugh.
But in all honesty, it’s a serious issue. I ponder this question all of the time because it’s important to me; even when I pretend it isn’t. Probably more so then – haha.
Tonight I got to thinking about it again. Probably because it’s what they call cuffing season. You know, winter. The holidays. The one time of the year other people are as obsessed with finding a companion as I am all year round.
Anyway – I was driving home from watching college football at my brothers, and it was frigid outside. It’s the time of year Christmas music starts to play, and Christmas lights adorn neighborhood homes. As I drove, I couldn’t help but think about driving around town admiring them,with hot cocoa & a boy. Then I realized that won’t be happening. I have a car. A neighborhood with lights. I have cocoa. But, I don’t have a boy. When I got home, I heated up some left over pasta shells in a glad container, I sat on the sofa, & I wolfed them down. I had my little feet, in some little Uggs, up on the coffee table (that I put together my damn self) and I had my hair up in a lazy bun. Clearly, I also had sweats on. And I thought to myself, “Myka – it’s 9 o clock on Saturday. And you’re sitting at home. Wolfing down leftovers. In your cozies. You are never going to find a man this way.” And even though it was thoroughly enjoyable, that observation was also true. It’s so true. I’m not going to find a man this way. I don’t know how people date once they’re out of college. Out of the club scene. Don’t enjoy bars. How does it happen? How do you meet the man of your dreams when your dream is to never leave the house? When your favorite thing to do is to drive aimlessly through ritzy neighborhoods blasting the radio. When your favorite place to frequent is Target. And the gym. When you really enjoy watching college football all day on Saturday, in sweats. And eating leftover pasta. Having Justin Timberlake serenade you via Netflix as you write with a cat on your lap. Taking a super hot shower with 1 of your 12 sugar scrubs. Exfoliating. Chilling out. And, I know, a lot of other people who ARE married or in love, also love to do these things. However, they met their match before they fell into this elderly routine. And it made me wonder what those of us who haven’t found him yet are supposed to do. I know someone will eventually love me for the hermit that I am. But how do I find him?
And then it hit me. I realized the ugly truth: Prince Charming isn’t going to come riding up to my door step on his white horse. Unfortunately. I have to take a few leaps out of my comfort zones. But, I don’t have to change who I am – because that will not end well for anybody. If you don’t like to drink & dance the night away, don’t do it just to find a man. Your compatibility will end before your hangover does. Instead I think you (I) need to find things that you enjoy doing alone, and try to incorporate other people. Go out to Barnes & Noble for a coffee & to write, instead of doing it from the sofa. Go downtown for a drink instead of to the same tired ol’ Mexican restaurant you frequent. Take a hike outside on a common trail, instead of spending 45 minutes at the gym with your headphones in. Switch things up. Keep your eyes & your heart open. Send good vibes out into the universe. Never admit defeat. Never truly believe you’re too old, or too introverted, or too set in your ways to let someone else in. Don’t fret about all of the things that might change, & instead embrace them. Keep your head high & your heart open. I know I’m going to try to. It is cuffing season, after all.