I think sometimes we all forget how lucky we truly are. Especially at the end of the year, when we’re so quick to usher in the next one. We tell ourselves that the last 12 months are about to be behind us, as if we hated every second of them. We make plans for a fresh start, and count down the days until our slate is wiped clean. As if we realize, suddenly, that the last 11 and 3/4 months we haven’t been our best selves. That we have been wading through our lives waiting for that universal moment when we can start over. When we can finally change.
Why do we do this?
Instead of looking forward with anticipation, I’m trying something new tonight. I’m going to look back with appreciation. I’m going to revisit the little victories, my little victories, of 2016. I’m going to be grateful for where I am, and how I got here because all in all – this year wasn’t so bad.
I think 2016 was the first full year I have been single since … 2012. And would you look at that – I survived! and I’m pretty happy. My brother & sister-in-law found out that they are expecting a baby, and to everyone’s disbelief – it’s a GIRL. She will be the first baby girl in our family since I was born over 27 years ago. I couldn’t be happier for them, or for me! A NIECE! AHH! What am I even going to do with her?! Ev-er-y-thing. I worked my ass off & requested a raise at work – which I was granted! woo-hoo! I’m in the process of rekindling a lost friendship I’m not sure how I ever lived without. I also got a new laptop, a MAC (heart eyes), and the cutest little case for it (for thirteen dollars)! And if we’re keepin’ things real real, I’m giddy over them both. #Swoon. I finally got Apple TV, and can now do cool shit on my TV (like listen to music, watch football, and stream TV shows). I had a really awesome birthday back in May, that I am still smiling about. I took some amazing polaroids that day. (Naughty & Nice ones). I still have a car that runs, and no car payment, and thats a huge win for someone my age. I wrote a bit & discovered A TON of really good quotes. I spent time on the beach up in Tahoe, and helped a friend of mine move. I unwillingly let new people in, and reluctantly pushed a few people out. My parents have remained in much better health than they were last year – and that is as big of a Win for me, as it is for them. I watched all kinds of shit on Netflix, and even though some people don’t think that is something to be happy about, I think it is. There are a lot of people in the world who can’t afford a TV, or have never seen one, and I have one in my home, that I own, & can watch whenever & with whoever I want. I went to a concert this year, and I had 3rd. row. seats. That was an experience I will never forget. I worked out every week this year, multiple times, and fell in love with my body. I laid out at my pool quite a bit, and still have tan lines in December. I flew a few places to see people that matter to me, and I wouldn’t trade those memories for the world. I recently got a Passport, and I feel like a much more responsible adult now. I’ve maintained a relationship that makes me happy for over 8 months, and couldn’t care less about the fact that nobody else approves. (great sex. great company. full disclosure. sorry not sorry). I laughed a lot, and cried a little. & that’s probably enough (or too much, haha) about me.
BUT the point is – I understand a lot of horrible things happened over the last year, for a lot of people. Donald Trump was elected President. Riots broke out across the Country. America was terrorized. Every other day I turned the news on, somebody had been robbed, or victimized. My childhood best friend passed away. I had to go to the damn doctor because I lost 7lbs & my appetite. But what good is it to live in these negative moments? It is no good. Hold onto the moments that make you, and let the ones that break you fall away. & don’t let 2017 be another year you cannot wait to leave behind.