This post was definitely fueled by the trip I made home for the Holidays this past weekend. I even told my mom, “I’m going to write about this, I hope you know.”
I love genes. (& jeans). and my mom.
I think it is crazy insane (or insane crazy, Eminem anyone? No? Humph) how much we, human beings, are influenced by our DNA. By our genes. How much all of us are like our parents. And, if you don’t think you are, maybe check the adoption records. I am literally the carbon copy (& spitting image) of my mother. And, as I was recently taught, that isn’t all good news (ha, ha).
My mom is 100% the reason I have anxiety. I talk to myself throughout the day – making sure I am on track – and I always just kind of assumed it was because I live alone. But now, I see that it was ingrained in me before I was even born. Long before. My mother is the same way, and she lives with someone! We do this thing where we have to talk through all of the steps we are about to take. Before you start to defend us, no, we aren’t talking out loud so that other people know what the plan is. We do this even when nobody else is involved in the act(s). It was annoying and heart warming all at the same time to watch my mom carry on this way. “Okay. so in about fifteen minutes I’ll make your dad a snack, need to make sure the cats have eaten, oh I’m thirsty let me get some water, alright, is everyone OK? Nobody needs anything. Alright, I’m going to sit down right after I go to the bathroom.”
“MOM! Enough! Nobody needs to know your every move.” And as soon as I uttered those words, it hit me. I DO THAT. Oh. my. gosh. I am not my mother’s daughter, I am literally my mother.
Second thing she does, that I have inherited, is she does. not. listen. I don’t mean she doesn’t listen in the same way 80% of American’s don’t listen – that I ranted about a few posts back. My mom hears you. She looks right at you as you answer. She just, well, she doesn’t care. She ignores your wishes, completely. She asked me if I wanted a cold water, because my bottle wasn’t frosted any longer. And I said no thanks! (super cold water hurts my teeth). She came over, and swapped out my water bottle anyway. MOM! She also asked me if I was hungry, and I wasn’t, so she heated up a bowl of rice & brought it to me immediately. She asked me thirteen times in 6 minutes if I wanted an ice cream bar, and when I said I didn’t, one appeared on my lap anyhow. Oh, and then there was the blanket – when I insisted I wasn’t cold, but she said she missed tucking me in & brought one to the sofa.
It’s exhausting, frustrating, and really, really cute.
I do this, too. I offer people beverages or snacks, and when they decline, I bring them out anyway in case they’re just too shy to say so.
After being around my mom, I realized where my shortcomings came from. But, I also realized maybe they aren’t as bad as I thought. I love her for the little quirks that she has, and I love that she passed them on to me. And I hope someday, somebody will love me for them, too.
I hope you had a great Holiday weekend with your loved ones, even if it was tough.
Merry Christmas, everyone!