More like lump day. Big ol’ lump of shit!
The day wasn’t really all that bad, actually, because I’m in a solid mindset. I’m in my “imma do me” mode. Don’t screw me over because I won’t forget for years mode. My tell it like it is sorry if I hurt you feelings mode. Let’s go.
First and foremost, if you have a job, you’re fucking lucky. Being unemployed is a real thing. A real thing, and a real scary thing. If you are lucky enough to have a job that consists of working indoors, in a god damned chair, pays you for breaks & provides benefits – do me a favor and DO YOUR JOB. Don’t show up at work expecting to sit on your ass, mooching the wifi for personal shopping & errands for 8 hours a day, and bitch when your personal life gets interrupted by a work email. Don’t snap at the person you support when they ask you a question. Don’t get mad at your coworkers for transferring calls your way when your customer accidentally calls their line instead. Don’t heavy sigh. Don’t throw your headset. Don’t grunt, and bitch & moan. Come to work. Sit your ass down in the padded seat you were lucky enough to pass the interview for, and take pride in your work. And if you can’t do that, stay the fuck home.
Secondly, You have no reason to be mad at me. For 9 months, I have been here for you pretty much whenever you wanted me. I’ve been here at lunch, I’ve been here in the evening, I’ve shuffled to open the door half asleep with bed head. One time. One TIME I am too tired and I say no and the next day you turn into a passive aggressive jerk. K cool. and by cool, I mean least cool fucking thing you’ve done since I’ve known you. Second, maybe, to bailing on our baseball date 10 minutes before game time. We entered into this on the same page: no strings. honest communication. fun flirty nature. All of a sudden, things are too flirty, and too fun, and you are going to hit me with the “too much like a relationship” for me line. But you JUST SO HAPPENED to realize this the morning after I finally wasn’t there for you exactly when you wanted me? Though I do believe in coincidences, that is too much even for me. Look, I really like You. I really like the relationship we have. Oh oops sorry, the “arrangement” we have. Is that better? I like being able to exchange witty banter, and hook up, and have someone to vent to. I liked the impromptu meetings. The jokes. & the songs. I like the photos. oh how I likeee the photos. But what I don’t like is this shift. You don’t get to stop being honest with me all of a sudden with no explanation as to why. Or, well, I guess You do. Because You did. Asshole.
My throat has been sore every morning/night for the past 3 days. I finally used a cough drop today, after my mother’s urging via text, and I think that made it worse. You eat a cough drop, your mouth gets all cool, you drink some water & it’s so cold on your throat its more uncomfortable than the damn sore throat itself. But anyway, thankfully it’s feeling slightly better as I sit here beating up my keys. So, I will count that as a win. Though, we aren’t back at normal, yet. I took Monday & Tuesday off from the gym. Monday I was feeling eh, and Tuesdays I always try to rest, so I can watch the Bachelor. DUH. Today I made it back in, though. Short little tricep & ab workout. But I made it. and I feel better about myself because of it. I also ate 3 meals & a snack. Go me, man!
Despite the two turmoils I outlined tonight, today was a good day. Nobody died today. Nobody puked (well, except Zero. right on my comforter. poor bub). I didn’t fuck anything up at work. I didn’t get any speeding tickets, or texting tickets, or into any accidents. I don’t have a teething baby at home who won’t stop crying, or a 5 year old daughter battling cancer. I didn’t break any bones, or lose any teeth. My eyebrows are kind of looking like sisters again, and my hair curled perfectly. Today was a day. It was as human and mundane as it gets, but I loved every minute of it, because before I know it, it’s going to be gone.
Take pride in life’s little moments, even the shitty ones, because honestly what else do we have?