Random Thoughts.

I have started this post 3 times, and either lost or accidentally deleted all 3 drafts. I hope this one goes better for me.
I started this one day at my desk because my coworker was eating something crunchy next to me, and it made my skin crawl. I thought to myself. A). This is infuriating. B). This would be a good random thought.

So, lets get started.

  1. When people chew crunchy items – cucumbers, almonds, chips, dark chocolate – I am immediately irritated. I get those angry giggles, and I even get the goose bumps. This is a recent development.
  2. I like to include my house in my “unwinding” time at night. I try not to use a lot of overhead lights after my shower. I even turn my Scentsy warmer on in the bathroom when I brush my teeth, instead of the regular bathroom light. Then I crawl into bed, and get on my phone, and stare at the backlit screen – and probably defeat the whole purpose of unwinding before bed. 
  3. I think I’m addicted to working out.
  4. Starting a budget was the most adult thing I’ve ever done, and the most convenient. It helps me not spend money, and manage the little that I have. Do it, people, do it.
  5. I think I got my passport last year to motivate myself to get out of the Country and see the places I desire to see, but am afraid to travel to.
  6. I don’t know how anyone survives without writing.
  7. When people text me things that I am embarrassed to read – either making a valid point about my recent psychotic behavior, or something so awkward I cringe on their behalf – I delete the message string. I know it’s still on their phone, and the moment doesn’t necessarily go away – but it makes me feel more at ease. I’ve done this a lot in the last week. 
  8. I am in love with the way pine trees look when they are covered in snow.
  9. Because I am so infatuated with & intrigued by writing/writers, I despise the phrase “actions speak louder than words.”
  10. I do, however, like the phrase “people may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you. Pay attention.” Go figure. 
  11. The way football players hold the pads around their collar during the National Anthem. Drool.
  12. Zero sits on my lap every night when I eat dinner. He doesn’t necessarily beg, he just hops up on the bar stool & climbs onto my lap. I like to think he doesn’t want me to eat alone.
  13. Is it possible to have no patience? I think I have none.
  14. I don’t like numbers that are too neat. I set my alarm for odd times: 6:14, 6:33, etc. Never :45, or :30.
  15. Can you miss someone you’ve never met?
  16. I’m trying really hard to be less concerned with people’s actions when they don’t directly effect/affect me. Mainly at work. It’s much easier said than done. But I’m trying.
  17. I like to do front squats at the gym because I get a little red mark on each of my shoulders/across my collar bones from the bar & it makes me feel like a #boss
  18. I have a hard time believing Karma is real when I see the way some people act, and the benefits they reap.
  19. I’m 100% torn between I want a baby so bad & I don’t know if I would be a good parent. My whole life, I’ve always been told I’m going to be a wonderful mom – but then I think about the vomit, and the homework, and the tears. and I just don’t know if I would be able to do it. Some say the love outweighs the work, but I honestly don’t know.
  20. I burn my tongue on soup every single time. Without fail. My tongue gets all “scabbed” and feels weird in my own mouth. And yet I never learn. 
  21. I have a Wedding Board on my Pinterest, with over 1,000 pins. But, I have always thought it was weird to plan an entire wedding that any groom could slip into. I know my wedding will be very different than any I’ve pictured before if I am lucky enough to actually fall into a mutual love & have one. His tastes will infiltrate. However, one non-negotiable – there WILL be donuts.
  22. I’ve grown to understand how one could fall in love with somebody they’ve never met.
  23. Fasted cardio terrifies me. Is it really where you do cardio on an empty stomach?
    I can barely do walk-to-the-car-for-a-late-lunch-after-breakfast-and-two-snacks. F’real.
  24. Tumblr.
  25. I want to Facetime with someone, but I don’t know how to ask them.
  26. I wonder how many people think about me that I have no idea about. I do this everyday; when I see something that reminds me of someone, when I hear a song. When I eat their favorite snack.
    If you think about me, I wish you’d tell me.
  27. If something odd happens at my house, I detox the whole thing.
    Last night was weird.
    Today: swept, mopped, cleaned the counters, washed the rugs, & the bed sheets.
    It helps me feel more at ease.
  28. I’ve gotten to the point of laziness where I have actually downloaded an Apple TV Remote App on my phone, so that I don’t have to get up and grab the actual Apple TV Remote I own.
  29. I legitimately feel defeated if I don’t reach my daily water intake goal.
  30.  I somehow, after everything, still believe in Fate.
  31. Someone recently said to me:”You can’t be putting yourself in jeopardy to comfort others.”
  32. I really like the movie Me Before You, but it makes me cry every single time. Not pretty cry, either. Ugly, face-full-of-snot, rosy red cheeks cry.
    I really want to watch it right now, but I don’t want to cry.
    Struggles, people. Struggles.
  33. I recently started Zero on some steroids to help his cough, and I am SO grateful that he loves them. I put them in the same cabinet as his other treats, to hopefully trick him. I think it worked.
  34. My hands have a lot of wrinkles on them, around the knuckles. The rest of my body looks a solid 16-20 years old. My hands look 100, easily. I have premature anxiety about wedding/engagement photos. They’re still soft somehow. 
  35. I really like words that aren’t used a lot, or that I have to look up.
    i.e.: Irreparable, Cathartic, Tepid, Irks, Peeved. 
  36. “If it doesn’t feel like 90’s R&B I don’t want it.”
  37. The whole process of having a baby really blows my mind. Still, at 27.
    Two people have sex, a human being grows inside of a woman, then she pushes it out her, yep, with her muscles.
    What in the actual fuck.
  38. I sometimes forget, because I live in America, that there are people who still live in huts, in the wilderness, mashing corn in stone bowls, cooking over open flames, wearing cloths over their privates for clothes. In 2017.
    As I sit here on my laptop in a pair of black leggings curious how they make my butt look.
    The World is so weird.
  39. Do you think in Asian countries they have “American Restaurants” where people can go order cheeseburgers, steak & potatoes, Cobb salads, etc.?
  40. I need to go to the Ocean this summer. I miss it.
  41. The fact that I cannot escape death gives me the heebie-jeebies.
  42. I really dislike the statement “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.”
    I’m pretty sure that is one lesson we’re taught as children that fucks (some of) us up. As we grow, we learn we should treat others they way they want to be treated.
    I think.
  43. I really like photography. Landscapes & candids are my favorite.
  44. I made an American travel map out of a shadow box frame and a scrapbook paper, to track where I’ve been in the country. I add little pins to it when I conquer a new state. It’s one of my favorite possessions, and cost me about $10
  45. My brother Zain used to say “peep” instead of “look at” or “check out” and I still say it, like 14 years later. I annoy myself.
  46. Before feelings are verbalized, out in the open; when everything is a little unknown yet somehow understood – thats the shit I do like. Oh my gah. *swoon
  47. Long sleeve & short shorts. Favorite outfit. Hands down.
  48. My friend calls her pajamas/lazy clothes “quitters”
    I’m adopting that.
  49. I was parking at the store today, but I am borrowing my brother enormous Tahoe, and there was an employee rounding up carts, and I was paying so much attention to where the front of the car was, I grazed him with my side mirror. Or maybe he ran into it. I like to believe he ran into it. I can’t believe it happened. I was so startled, I just waved and giggled.
  50. Literally cannot remember life before memes on Instagram. What?
  51. I often wonder who named things. Like, who looked at an item and said “that’s a chair.” and everyone else just kind of went *shrugs* OK!

God, I love lists.



3 thoughts on “Random Thoughts.

  1. 1. What are angry giggles?
    20. Same, except with pizza
    27. “Something odd” leads to a mass cleanup eh? What are you hiding??
    39. McDonalds.
    49. So you hit someone and then waved and laughed at them? I like bumper cars too.
    51. I say the same thing about colours. Like why is red called red? No one ever answers me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. Angry giggles. I’m not sure how to explain them. When I get so frustrated, that I’m on the verge of tears, I get this giggle. I thought it was universal, but maybe I’m just odd.
      20. hahah. Not surprised?
      27. *runs away*
      39. There’s no steak there.
      49. hahah. bumper cars.
      51. Oh god. I never thought about colors….

      Liked by 1 person

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