Things I’m working on.

When I write, I usually have a lesson in mind. Either for myself, or for me and the reader alike. Mainly me. Lately, I feel like I haven’t been able to put anything into words, because I don’t know how to conquer whats irking me. Things are eating at me every single day: at work, in the shower, before I fall asleep. The only time I can escape them is when I’m working out (maybe). And the worst part is that a lot of them don’t involve or effect me.
So, what do you do when that happens? When you realize that you’re stressed out about other peoples lives? When you can’t fix everything, because they aren’t your issues to fix?

No really, I’m asking – what do you do?
Because I don’t have the slightest idea.

I was thinking about my life the other day and I realized that I have a lot going for me. I realized there really isn’t much for me to worry about. I’m not pregnant, I’m not (completely) broke, I don’t have a detrimental illness. I have a job, a house, a running (knock on wood) car, two loving (still married) parents – the list is endless. Yet, I’m always stressed out. I made myself sit down and think about what really gets my blood boiling, and every single thing I could think of, has to do with other people. I worry about the hours people spend at work dicking around, when they should be at their desks. It bothers me to no end that I am pushing out POs, quoting new items, answering phone calls & getting voicemails while I’m on the other line, forgetting to get up and use the bathroom or eat because I am so consumed by the tasks my job requires me to do, while other people call Target to complain about their shipment, or file a claim with their insurance company, or smoke 6 cigarettes outside. It doesn’t bother me because I want to be doing those things. It doesn’t bother me because they could be helping me with my work. Or because I don’t like doing my job. It just bothers me. And thats no way to live. Continuously irritated by the actions of other people when they have little to no effect on your life, mood, or world. Stop it, Myka. Stop it right now.

You know what else irritates me? Hypocrites. People who say they’re tired, sick, and don’t want to be seen by anyone – then end up out with some other friends less than 24 hours later. People who say they can’t afford anything, but end up with everything. Hold on. I know we’re all entitled to changing our minds, but isn’t there some sort of acceptable amount of time we should allow to pass before we do so, or we’re a big ol hypocritical piece of shit? Maybe that’s a personal opinion, I don’t know.

That’s a topic for a whole blog in and of itself. And it was, last week. But really. Men in general just bother me. The stories I hear from my friends, and the ones I live through myself, both make. me. cringe. Do men go through some sort of training us women don’t know about that teaches them to be egocentric dickwads the second a woman puts one in his place? Because if they don’t, you sure coulda fooled me. I don’t understand why men carry out their lives this way. Or why we, as females, let them. Why I let the way they act like entitled pompous dipshits irritate me. The next time you put a man in his place and he turns around and tells you to fuck off, punch him in the nutsack! and if you’re spewing venom via text, just quit responding. Confrontation is a two way street most men don’t deserve any company on.

I guess the upside here is that my life is pretty fuckin’ great.
I may not know how to quit letting everyone else’s shortcomings & dimwitted behaviors effect my mood or attitude, but I think that admitting the problem is a step in the right direction. or something like that. 

If nothing else – I always like to remind myself: Let the assholes be assholes, you’ll sleep better.



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